What Hurts The Most
by zefronlover19
Summary: Santana had big dreams when she moved to New York but when she arrived none of them had come true, 6 months down the line and she was working in a diner next to Broadway with wannabe actors and singers, and when she returns back home to support the New Directions in the Regional's, the realisation just gets worse. But what if the person who helps her is her high school sworn enemy?
1. Chapter One

Santana Lopez thought that coming to New York would be the best thing to ever happen to her. New York is where people fulfill their dreams of stardom, either it being an acting career or a singing one. Santana had always loved to sing, it was her passion ever since she was a little girl, but her biggest passion was to become famous and when she dropped out of college to move to New York with her high school 'buddies' Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel she thought nothing could go wrong. That was until reality hit.

Living in New York for almost 6 months now and nothing has happened for her, the closest thing to fame is working at the Broadway diner next to the actual Broadway building were all Broadway wannabe's work in order to get noticed, but the truth is, nobody gets noticed, not unless you audition and you're incredibly talented, like her best friend Rachel Berry who was a Broadway star, well, was going to be when her production of Funny Girl opens on Broadway in a few weeks time. Kurt who too worked in the diner with her wasn't living the dream of being a famous star, he however was studying at Nyada, the top performing arts school in New York lead by Carmen Tibideaux, a stern, strict but very passionate woman about the performing arts. She may be hard on her students but she only wanted the best and when she saw potential in somebody, she knew that they were ready for stardom, that's what she saw in Kurt. Rachel on the other hand, she wasn't too keen on, she knew that she had a talent but at the same time, she knew that she thought that she was better than the rest of them and that's what Carmen didn't like about her. Santana on the other hand was a very talented young woman with a powerful voice and a beautiful face, unfortunately, Carmen had never had the pleasure of meeting her and that was Santana's downfall otherwise she would've been studying at the college and her dreams would be fulfilled.

But no, Santana only worked in the Broadway Diner with her talents going to waste. The only times that she would be able to show off her talents would be when a customer would request a song and she would have to sing it to them, but most of the time, they wanted their star, Rachel Berry. This of course angered Santana because she knew that she had an amazing voice, she was just as good as her but just because she's not a Broadway star doesn't mean that she's not as good as her. Nothing was going right for her in her life after she decided to move here and the only thing that kept replaying on her mind was '_Maybe coming to New York wasn't the best idea after all.'_

She stood behind the counter of the diner wearing her button down high collared red and white short dress which cut off half way down the thighs and a pair of white go-go boots. Her long, dark brown hair dangled down her back almost reaching the top of her buttocks with some of her hair dangled over her shoulders and draping over her breasts. The diner was empty as the sound of the clock across the room behind the stage ticked as time passed slowly. The only customers were the regulars who only ordered cups of coffee from a hard days work. Santana gazed off into the distance as her thoughts ran through her head, thoughts about her decisions of coming to New York, about leaving college with her cheerleading scholarship for a dream that she's always had. Ever since she was in high school she'd wanted to go to New York but there was no money for her to go there, her parents were poor and so was she, the only way she was going to New York or any college would be on a scholarship and when she got that scholarship, she bit their hands off, but then she gave it up for her dream that never happened.

Her thoughts were broken with the sound of the kitchen door squeaking as it swung open, the sound of clicking on the black and white checkered lino flooring of the diner was heard behind her. Santana carried on pumping the tomato ketchup from the pumps into the empty bottles as Rachel Berry appeared behind her.

"I can't believe that Funny Girl is almost here," she grinned, "I mean, I know that it had to happen sometime but I didn't expect it to come around this fast."

"I know," Santana replied disinterestedly, "Who knew?"

"And I can't believe that it's the Regional's already," Kurt added as he walked over to the bar holding a notepad in his hand and a black pen behind his ear, "I mean, they have come around so fast, I remember when we were performing, it feels like it was only yesterday."

"Yeah," Santana nodded in disappointment, "Who would've thought that?"

"Santana?" Rachel asked her as she tilted her head to the side, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Santana lied, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just don't sound your usual self," Kurt told her, "It's like you're not interested in it, you were so excited when it was us that was performing it."

"Well," Santana replied, "That was us. I was actually gonna win something and besides," she shrugged her shoulders, "It's not like it has anything to do with me." She picked up the newly filled tomato ketchup bottles and placed them onto the tray, she picked up the tray and walked around the diner placing down the ketchup bottles on the table. Both Rachel and Kurt looked at one another before their gazes turned quickly back to her.

"You are going back," Rachel asked her, "Right?"

"Why would I want to do that?" Santana asked her harshly, "Didn't you just hear what I just said?"

"But we need to support them," Kurt told her, "They're our family."

"Not anymore," Santana replied, "Maybe Blaine is family to you because you're engaged to him and all, but it has nothing to do with me, not anymore. None of my friends are there anymore. Quinn and Puck graduated, and Brittany is no longer there, she's off in University being all smart, which by the way, I didn't see coming."

"I don't think any of us did," Kurt agreed with her. He shook his head and both of his hands in front of his chest, "But that's not the point," he said changing the subject.

"What is the point?" Santana questioned him as she placed down the final bottle before turning her body and placing both of her hands firmly on her hips, "Because I would like to hear your theory on this."

"We were a family," Kurt told her, "We were all the New Directions, even though they may have some new members to the group that doesn't change anything we're still the same group."

"And besides," Rachel added, "We won't just be supporting them, we'll be supporting Mr Schue who did nothing but support us back in high school. He believed in every single of us, even you."

"Especially when everybody thought you joining the New Directions was a bad thing," Kurt commented, "Because you weren't the nicest person back in high school and you'll be the first person to admit that."

"You have to be cruel to be kind," Santana admitted, "I mean, if I wasn't so rude to you then you wouldn't have learnt from your mistakes. I was always there to point out your mistakes and you learnt from them. Because of me, Rachel, you're performing as Fanny Brice in Funny Girl."

"How is it because of you?" Rachel questioned her with confusion, her eyebrows knitting together to form a frown.

"Because if I hadn't have bullied you every day," Santana told her, "If I hadn't told you the truth about how annoying you were then you'd still the same annoying person back in high school that I loved to hate, but now you're not, you're not always annoying, like you're 45% of the time annoying but for 55% of the time you're a great person and that's all because of me."

"And me," Kurt added.

"Yeah," Santana nodded, "But mostly because of me. You became a better person because of me, and you're welcome for that."

"And you became a better person because of Mr Schue," Rachel informed her.

"Oh crap," Santana sighed heavily, "I hate it when you're right. Please say something annoying so that I can say something insulting to you."

"No," Rachel laughed, "I'm not gonna do that." She walked around the counter and walked towards Santana, she took a step towards her, she reached up and placed her hand gently on her shoulder. "You're a good person, Santana," Rachel told her, "And I'm pretty sure that the good in you is saying go and support them, support Mr Schue."

"Come with us, Santana," Kurt asked her, "We can go as a group and support them, you don't have to be alone in this, it's not as if we're sending you there on your own."

"Why did I have to have a soft spot for you two?" Santana groaned playfully with a smile on her face.

"Because you love us," Rachel grinned at her, "And because we're friends, we trust one another and we have faith in one another. And yeah," she shrugged her shoulders, "You did make me a better person, the both of you, but it works both ways, we made you a better person. Okay, yeah, you're still a bitch, but if it wasn't for you then I would still be with Brody and he would still be cheating on me being a male whore. You knew that there was something up with him with your psychic Mexican third eye and that's what friends are there for."

"Oh yeah," Santana smiled and pointed to the centre of her forehead, "My psychic Mexican third eye never lies."

"So come with us," Kurt smiled at her, "Come and enjoy the show with your friends."

"All right," Santana exhaled heavily, "I'll come with you if it makes you feel better." She glanced down at Rachel and asked her, "But what about Funny Girl rehearsals?"

"I've already spoken to them," Rachel informed her, "They said that I can go back home and watch my friends perform because I'm already ahead of schedule and they said that I could have a week off so I can go home seeing as it's not often that I do go home."

"So," Santana shrugged her shoulders, "Looks like we're all going back to watch them perform in the Regional's then?"

"Yes!" Kurt cheered, "The three of us all returning back to McKinley High to cheer on the New Directions."

"The three amigos," Rachel grinned.

"Whoa," Santana responded sternly with her hand held up in front of her chest, "Calm down there, I wouldn't go that far calling us the three amigo's, we're just three good friends, don't be going all weird on me again, Berry or I might just have to go back and insult you again."

Rachel shook her head and laughed at the same time, she spun on her white go-go heels and walked back around to the counter as she carried on filling up the empty salt and pepper shakers with salt and pepper. Santana turned her back and the thought of going back to McKinley High hit her hard, the thought of going back to the place that gave her the dream of becoming famous, the place where somebody actually had belief in her, the place where it all started. It made her realise that coming to New York wasn't the best idea because her dream wasn't fulfilled, she was a waitress at a diner where Broadway wannabe's worked, and it came to realisation that she was just like one of them, she was a Broadway wannabe and that wasn't what she wanted to be, she wanted to be a star and heading back to Lima, Ohio was just another way of telling her that she hasn't made it, that she's just the same person that she was in high school even after 6 months of leaving the town. Santana had always thought highly of herself, but now, she had never felt so low about herself and that wasn't a good look on her.


	2. Chapter Two

Lima, Ohio, that's where it all began for Santana, Kurt and Rachel. They'd all graduated 6 months ago and relocated to New York, but it was the Regional's time and they were back in Lima to support their friends and their teacher, mentor and friend Mr Schuester, the man that believed in all of them, the man who injected the confidence in them to become whatever they wanted, the man who was always there for them in a time of need. He wasn't a teacher to them but was like a father figure to them, the only teacher in the school that had belief in them and because of that they were truly grateful.

The Regional's weren't until Saturday night and was located in the McKinley High School auditorium so the New Directions had home advantage this year, and the line up for them this year was their usual enemies The Dalton Academy Warbler's with their captain the one and only Sebastian Smythe. But this year the other competition was the Vocal Chords from Greenville High School, they weren't the best competition for them to have as they were a bunch of old fashioned choir which old fashioned songs and clothing.

Santana walked through the main doors of the Lima Bean, a regular place from the past wearing a blue body con dress that hugged her petite figure and a pair of black heels. She slowly made her way towards the long queue with her arms folded across her chest as she took in the familiar surroundings. All of the memories flooded back to her from her time at McKinley High School where she would come here with her fellow New Directions for a cup of coffee after a hard days work in school, but also a hard days work of dealing with the annoying high school Rachel Berry. She remembered the time where had a confrontation with the annoying but very attractive Sebastian Smythe about the whole Michael Jackson situation, the way that she stood up to him in front of all of the New Directions but then having him put her down because of his big money talk, something that she could never use. Santana was so much caught up in her thoughts she hadn't realised that the queue had quickly dwindled down and there was only one person standing in front of her. She was soon snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of a clearing of the throat, she shook her head and turned her gaze to the college student standing behind the bar wearing a Lima Bean uniform, a yellow shirt with a green apron with the Lima Bean logo placed on the centre of the apron. Santana took a step towards her and cleared her throat also.

"A Americano to go," she ordered. The girl behind the counter punched into the cash register her order and her dull eyes turned towards Santana.

"$3.50," the girl asked her dully. Santana reached into her purse and pulled out a five dollar bill, she handed it over to the girl who snatched it off her and punched in the amount of money into the cash register to which the register opened and she placed the money into the cash register, pulling out the change and slamming the cash register and slammed the money down on the counter before turning on her heels to make her order. Santana frowned and shook her head, she couldn't even be bothered arguing with her because she knew that if she did she would get something that she didn't order as she was too used to doing the same with the customers in the diner. After waiting five minutes for her coffee, she grabbed the cup as it was slammed down on the counter, she rolled her eyes and turned on her heels as she started to walk towards the door to leave the Lima Bean when she was stopped in her tracks at the sight of an individual that was so used to seeing in there.

Sebastian Smythe.

He sat at a table with his usual takeaway coffee cup on the table with two books placed open on the table, one book being his notepad that he was writing into and the other a historical book. She rolled her eyes and smirked to herself. The one thing that she missed doing was taunting people and with Sebastian being her sworn enemy back in high school this gave her a chance to make up for lost time. She made her way over to him with her black high heels clicking on the light wooden flooring underneath her feet. She stood over him with her left hand on her hip, her right hand holding the cup of coffee.

"Even after six months," she taunted him, "You're still here. I see things don't seem to change."

"And I see your back in town," Sebastian replied without looking up from his book, "Let me guess, New York wasn't working out for you."

"Actually," she replied harshly, "Not that it has anything to do with you, I'm actually back here to support my fellow New Directions."

"And you say that I haven't changed," he responded sarcastically as he rolled his eyes at her.

"So," she rolled her eyes, "I see that you're up against them again this year. Prepared to get your asses whooped again?" She smirked smugly at him as she tapped her long red nails against her hip.

"Not likely," he responded, "Especially with that freak show you call a show choir."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She snarled at him.

"It's supposed to mean exactly that," he replied harshly as his eyes finally looked up from the book and gazed at her. He threw his pen down onto the book and folded his arms across his chest, he leaned back into the chair and flashed a smug smirk at her. "Because let's face it, you weren't exactly the best and they replace you, Streisand, Betty White, Jailbird, Preggers, the girl that was named after a car, that Asian kid that nobody knows the name of, and the late Finn Hudson, which I don't have a nickname for because that would just be cruel, with more losers."

"I'll let you know," she pointed at him, "They're all pretty talented kids, that Marley Rose is another Rachel Berry, not as good as her I might add, but still another version of her."

"Sure," he nodded smugly, "If you say so."

"Oh my god," she laughed, "You're only saying this because you're scared of them. You're actually threatened by them because the New Directions have beat you straight out every year."

"Because you had Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson," he insisted, "And they had you and that girl who was named after a car, Mercedes, you all had talent. Now," he shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not so sure."

"Did you just say that I had talent?" She asked him in shock.

"Yeah," he nodded, "Are you actually shocked that I would say that?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "Because you and I aren't the closest of people. Actually, you and I hate one another, we never have got on with one another, well, other than that time that we agreed on something when it came to Karofsky but other than that, we've never agreed on anything."

"Maybe not," he agreed, "But we actually agree on this one, we both know that we're both talented and we're not ashamed to admit it."

"Right," she nodded in disappointment. She glanced to the window with emotion building up in her eyes, "Well," she muttered, "I better go, because I don't want to be around you any longer."

Sebastian frowned and tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, "Are you okay?" He asked her curiously.

"Of course I am," she replied with a hint of emotion in her voice. She swallowed a large lump building up in her throat. "I'm just gonna head off." She turned on her heels and slowly walked towards the main entrance. "The New Directions are gonna kick your ass tomorrow," she called before pushing open the door of the Lima Bean and swiftly leaving through the door. Still frowning at her, Sebastian looked down at his books before slamming them shut and shoving them quickly into his black, leather satchel. He flung the satchel over his shoulder and grabbed his cup of coffee before standing up from his chair and heading quickly out of the Lima Bean.

Santana walked as quickly as her heels could allow her to go down the sidewalk as she headed back to her childhood/teenage home, but being in high heels this wasn't a very fast pace. Tears started to build up in her eyes as she thought about the past, the words of Sebastian had gotten to her, not because they were horrible and insulting but because they were sweet and honest. They were words that she never expected to come from his mouth, especially with him being the male version of her. It made her realise that her dream was slowly deteriorating and she wasn't gonna be getting the chance of becoming famous any time soon, her young life had been wasted and she could've been doing something better for her life like still studying at college but no, she gave it all up to become famous and she was now realising that it wasn't the best thing that she'd ever done. A tear slowly escaped from her eyes and slowly trickled down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand and with a sniffle she closed her eyes and held back her tears. Her eyes soon shot open with the sound of Sebastian's voice coming from behind her.

"Santana!" He called, "Santana, wait up!" With his long strides he finally caught up with her and stepped in front of her causing her to stop in her tracks. Her gaze turned down to the ground not wanting him to see her in the state that she was in, she was an emotional wreck and that wasn't Santana, she was supposed to be the strong one, just like him.

"What do you want?" She asked him with disinterest.

"Are you okay?" He asked her with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders weakly, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just don't seem yourself," he replied, "Usually you would've snapped at me and we would be having this massive fight. That was our thing because we're exactly the same people."

"No," she snapped at him as she snapped her head up to look at him, "We're nothing alike. You have money and you have your life planned out in front of you!" She shook her head and looked away from him, "Just leave me alone." She took a step to the side and walked ahead as she knocked him off balance slightly knocking her shoulder against his arm. Sebastian turned around and watched her walk off into the distance, his eyebrows knitted together with confusion. He had no idea what was going on but he knew that there was something different about Santana, she wasn't the same person that she was in high school, the one who was confident within herself, the one that always used her Lima Heights threats. Ever since Karofsky tried to kill himself last year Sebastian wasn't the same guy that he once was, his bullying days were over but he did enjoy the occasional fight with Santana, but this time he wanted to find out what was wrong with her and he wasn't going to stop until she opened up to him.


	3. Chapter Three

The night was drawing in, Santana was sitting a restaurant that she'd always loved when she was in Lima, the Beef House which sold the best homemade burgers in the whole of Ohio and the best homemade ice-cream milkshakes. She sat at the table holding staring off into space with a whole cheeseburger laying in front of her and a double chocolate milkshake beside it. Her right index finger and thumb was pinching the top of she straw as she swilled it around as she carried on staring off into space, her mind wandering. She kept thinking about what Sebastian had said to her, _why would he say something so nice to her? Was he being a jerk to get under her skin? Or was he being genuine about her having talent?_

The thoughts kept wandering around in her head, her stare becoming more intense and the customers and staff around her weren't concerned about her, they'd started to become afraid of her, they'd remembered her face, remembering that she wasn't sweet and innocent, she was the complete opposite of it, everyone was afraid in case she snapped at them because that was the usual thing for Santana to do, so they just kept doing what they were doing, either staring at her or ignoring her. Even the sound of the bell ringing above the door of the main entrance didn't snap her out of her trance, her thoughts were too deep and nothing was gonna snap her out of it, at least that's what she thought. Heavy footsteps from the door got closer to Santana but of course with her being in such a trance there was no noise to be heard. The large feet in black converses stopped beside her, it was Sebastian. He was wearing a pair of denim jeans, a red and blue plaid shirt with a red jumper over the top, he stared down at Santana who's gaze was still off into the distance with her wrist rotating as she stirred her now thin, watered down double chocolate milkshake. He looked off to where she was looking but his eyes soon turned back down to her, he walked towards the chair opposite her and pulled out the steal with red cushioned chair out and sat down in front of her but still Santana carried on staring off into the distance. He leaned forward and waved his right hand in front of her face.

"Santana," he whispered to her, "Yoo-hoo, earth to Santana." Santana shook her head and finally snapped out of her trance, she blinked a few times to realise that Sebastian was sitting in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" She frowned with her eyebrows knitting together.

"Trying to snap you out of that trance that you've been in," he replied with a smirk appearing on his face.

"You're hilarious," she told him sarcastically followed by a fake smile and tilt of the head.

"I know," he joked and winked at her cheekily.

She rolled her eyes and took the milkshake towards her mouth, "What are you really doing here?" She asked him as she wrapped her lips around the straw and sucked up the thin milkshake. She backed away from the straw quickly with a cringed look on her face, "That is disgusting," she grimaced, "I thought that this milkshake was supposed to be thick, it tastes like one from New York."

"Well," he suggested, "Maybe if you'd been drinking it and not staring off into space then you would've had a thick milkshake." He shrugged his shoulders, "But hey, that's just my opinion, it's not always right, right?"

She scoffed like a groan and rolled her eyes, "What are you really doing here?" She asked him again, "Did you come here to make my life a living hell? Because believe me if you did, expect a war, Lurch."

"Nice," He smiled, "I see that you haven't forgotten calling me that."

"No," she replied with disinterest, "And I have a whole lot more where that comes from if you have anything bad to say about me."

"What like before?" He frowned, "When I gave you a compliment about your talent and you just upped and left as if I insulted you."

"Oh my god," she groaned, "Is that what this is all about?"

"You were upset," he commented.

"I was not upset," she snarled.

"Oh yeah," he asked her, "Then what would you call tears in your eyes and running away from me?"

"Reality," she sneered at him as she stood up, scraping her chair across the floor, she spun on her heels and headed towards the door without paying for the bill. The staff all frowned at her as she walked out of the door, with his eyes wandering around the restaurant he noticed them all staring at her as she walked out, he reached into his back pocket as he grabbed his wallet, he took out a ten dollar bill and placed it on the centre of the table.

"Keep the change," he called as he stood up from his chair and followed her out of the restaurant. Santana strolled along the sidewalk as she made her way home. Sebastian pushed the door open of the restaurant, his head turned to the right and noticed her walking down the sidewalk. He pushed himself away from the door and jogged down the sidewalk after her but this time he didn't call her after remembering what happened earlier that day. He finally reached up to her with his large strides and jogged in front of her causing her to stop walking.

"Oh my god," she groaned, "What do you want now?"

"To talk," he shrugged his shoulders with the pouting of his bottom lip, "Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Yeah," she replied with a 'duh' tone, "Because you and I, we don't get on, we never will. We're both bitches and we hate one another."

"True," he nodded with agreement, "We do both hate one another, and we were both bitches but my bullying days are all over, after what happened to Karofsky I turned over a new leaf and that old me has gone forever."

"Then what do you call that then?" She asked him as she pointed over towards the Lima Bean, "You were just the same as you were back then with the whole comebacks and insults."

"What can I say?" He shrugged his shoulders with a smile on his face, "Force of habit, I guess I just can't help it when I'm around you to insult you like you insulted me."

"And there I thought the old days were put behind you," she told him sarcastically, "I must've been mistaken."

"You know what you're doing," he laughed, "You're deflecting."

"I'm deflecting?" She replied and placed her hand on her chest, "Where did you come up with an idea like that?"

"Well," he shrugged his shoulders, "You see with me coming from a Private school we learn stuff like that, we're taking Psychology, so yeah, I'm pretty used to words like that."

"Well," she lied, "I'm not deflecting." She stepped to the right to which he mirrored stopping her from walking off, she then stepped to the left to which he mirrored again, she glared up at him with her lips pursed together with anger, "If you don't move," she growled at him, "I'm gonna have to show you some of the Lima Heights hospitality that I've been threatening you for years now."

"Not gonna happen," he shook his right index finger at her, "You see, I can see that you're angry-"

"Yeah," she interrupted, "At you."

"No," he shook his head, "At you." He leaned forward slightly and nodded his head which she frowned at him with her eyebrows knitting together. "You act as if there's nothing wrong with you but the reason why you're angry is because you're angry at yourself, not at me, at yourself."

"Wow," she responded sarcastically, "You've taken a few classes in high school and you think you're the best psychologist around, good for you." She clapped her hands together sarcastically, "Good for you."

"You know what," he smiled, "I'm not even gonna get offended by that because I know that you're deflecting, you're angry at yourself but you just don't wanna admit it, especially not to a guy like me who knows exactly what you're going through."

"You know nothing about what I'm going through," she snarled at him and pointed in his face, "So don't you dare pretend as if you know what I'm going through, you'll never go through what I'm going through."

"And there we have it," he smiled, "You are angry at yourself."

"You used reversed psychology on me?" She scoffed, "How dare you?"

"It worked," he shrugged his shoulders, "Didn't it?"

"You know what," she groaned and pointed her index finger into his chest, "I hate you more than I already did."

"No you don't," he shook his head, "You're just angry because I knew that you're angry with yourself and you're deflecting the subject all of the time. I bet none of your so called friends have noticed that you're miserable."

"Who said that I was miserable?" She asked him knowing the truth.

"Your face does," he told her, "It's written all over your face that you're miserable but because you're so stubborn you won't admit it."

"Are you calling me stubborn?" She scoffed.

"Yeah," he nodded, "That's exactly what I'm calling you because you're too stubborn to admit that you need help when I'm handing it out to you right now."

"I don't want," she pointed in his chest angrily, "You're help!"

"Yes you do," he shouted in her face, "You need my help because you're as miserable as sin and you won't admit it, none of your friends have noticed that you're miserable and they're always around you but I see you one time and I can see it all over your face, I can see it in your eyes." She looked to the side with her eyes starting to well up with emotion, he reached down to her forearm and stroked his fingers along her skin. "Santana," he whispered softly, "You need to admit that you're hurting and you're miserable because the more that you keep it locked up inside of you, the longer it's gonna hurt you and you could end up being ill from it, and honestly as much as we hate one another, I don't want to see that happening."

Santana's eyes glanced down at his fingertips stroking her skin softly, her eyes slowly looked up at him as he looked down at her with soft, gentle eyes, eyes that she'd never seen on him before. Her eyes slowly glanced down at his lips before her eyes locked back onto his. She reached up on her tiptoes and placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him down towards her as she moved her lips closer to his, her eyes closed as her lips brushed against his, she pecked his lips softly before pulled away from her and looked down at her.

"This isn't what you want," he whispered and shook his head, "You're just upset."

"No," she shook her head and whispered back at him, "This is exactly what I want." She leaned back up to him and pressed her lips against his and kissed him deeply, he placed his hand on the small of her back and shared the passionate kiss with her. It meant nothing to the both of them but at that moment of time, this is what Santana wanted to take her mind of things.


	4. Chapter Four

Santana unlocked the door of her house with her house keys, she pushed open the door quickly and peered around the house.

"Hello?" She called, "Is anybody home?" But all that rendered throughout the house was silence. With a grin on her face she turned around to Sebastian and grabbed his red expensive jumper and pulled him through the door. She shut the door quickly and turned around to face him. His eyes wandered around the house warily, afraid in case somebody was actually home and they hadn't heard her. She tilted her head and looked at him with a smirk on her face. "What?" She asked him to which his head snapped towards her quickly and he shook his head.

"Nothing," he replied with his head shaking quickly and nervously.

"There's something wrong," she said to him, "You're afraid, aren't you? I bet you're still a virgin."

"Me, a virgin?" He laughed cynically, "Please." He stepped towards her and pointed at his face, "Have you not seen this face? Girls just keep falling at my feet when they see this."

"I never," she shrugged and folded her arms across her chest, "But then again, I knew how much of an asshole you really were."

"Then why are you wanting to sleep with me now?" He questioned her with a smirk on his face.

"Because," she pushed him the chest, "I need to get my mind off something, and having sex with you is the best option."

"Oh," he replied with widen, delightful eyes.

"Are you disappointed with that?" She asked him, "Because if you thought that we were just gonna have sex because I had a thing for you then you just better leave through the door now."

"Oh no," he answered, "I'm okay with that, I just honestly thought that you wanted to have sex with me because I was being charming with you."

"Oh I do," she nodded, "But I want to have sex with you so I can take my mind off things, is that okay with you?"

"Muh," he shrugged his shoulders, "I've had sex for worse reasons." He smirked and leaned down to her, crashing his lips against hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck as she tiptoed to reach his height. He bent down and grabbed underneath her knees and lifted her up in the air, she wrapped her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss by sliding her slippery tongue into his mouth, their tongues colliding one with one another as they played tonsil tennis with one another. Her hands reached up into his gelled hair as she laced her fingers through it, his hair sticking up where her fingers had been and the sound of moaning echoed throughout their mouths. "Where are we gonna do it?" He muttered into her mouth. She pulled away from him and looked around the house.

"Well," she answered, "There's always the living room where we have a sofa," she shrugged her shoulders, "But we would most probably end up on the floor because I'm that wild." Sebastian smirked at her and raised his eyebrows quickly. "There's also the dining room," she suggested, "But if we did it on the table, I'd feel bad because my parents would have to eat off that," she looked around the house, "There's also the bathroom because it wouldn't be the first time that I've done it in there." Sebastian's eyes lit up and his grin appeared on his face, "And then there's always the traditional way in my bedroom," her gaze turned back to his, "So, what would prefer?"

"Well," he smirked, "I liked the idea of the wild sex in the living room."

"Done," she responded by crashing her lips onto his and kissing him passionately once more. He returned the kiss as they both slide their tongues together erotically, their breathing quickened along with their heart rates. Sebastian turned on his heels guessing which room the living room was, he slowly stepped towards the living room door, his hand sliding up to her ass and stroked his fingertips against her dress, his hand grasped her ass firmly and a moan exploded up her throat which caused a smirk to appear on his face whilst kissing her. They finally made it into the living room and he made his way over to the sofa, his eyes glanced down at the sofa remembering what she'd said to him, he smirked to himself and shook his head ever so slightly, his eyes returned back to hers as he closed his eyes and continued with the kissing. He took a step towards the coffee table in the centre of the room accidentally knocking his shin against it, he ignored the pain but winced into the kiss, he lean't forward and gently placed her down on the coffee table, her legs were still wrapped around his waist and her fingers laced through his hair, he trailed the kiss down from her lips, down her chin and trailing his kiss down to her neck, his lips sucking on her neck gently, her eyes rolled to the back of her head as a moan exploded in her throat. Sebastian smirked into the kiss and raised his head up to face her.

"Wow," he smirked, "If I'm only kissing your neck and you're moaning, what will you be like when I get to the good stuff?"

"No talking," she murmured, "Continue with what you're doing."

"Yes ma'am," he teased with a smirk on his face as he lowered himself down to her neck and carried on kissing it. Santana rolled her head to the side with her eyes closed enjoying the pleasure that Sebastian was giving her and she knew that it was only the start, the guy knew how to use his lips, he knew how to pleasure somebody and all this time she had no idea about it. But she was glad, she was glad now because the only thing on her mind was his lips against her skin. His hands trailed down her body with his fingertips stroking her skin softly, caressing them and making her skin tingle, the hairs on her skin standing and goose bumps appearing across her skin. His hands reached down to the bottom of her dress and he slowly placed his hand on the bottom of her dress as he slowly pulled it up her body, his fingertips caressing her skin as he pulled it up her body, her back arching up, he knelt down on the table and carried on pulling up her dress. He pulled away from the kiss as she raised her arms up above her head he pulled the dress up her arms and flung it across the room hitting the lampshade in the process before collapsing down onto the ground. Her hands grabbed underneath his red jumper and pulled it up his body, he too raised his arms up above his head as she pulled it up his body and throwing it down to the ground. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him back down to her as he crashed his lips against hers and slid his tongue into his mouth making the kiss more passionate. Her fingertips touched the buttons of his shirt as she unbuttoned every button all the way down to the bottom and pushed it over his shoulders, pushing it down his toned arms, her fingertips stroking his skin as he did to hers. The hairs on his arms slowly started to stand up and goose bumps appearing across his skin. She broke the kiss and pushed him away slightly, he gazed down at her with his eyebrows knitted together to form a frown.

"What's wrong?" He asked her curiously, "I thought that this is what you wanted."

"Oh believe me," she agreed, "This is exactly what I wanted but I was gonna order you to do something."

"You were gonna order me to do something?" He asked with raised eyebrows, "Wow."

"Yeah," she nodded, "You said that you were good at this kind of stuff, instead of kissing me, get straight to it. We haven't got all night."

"Yes ma'am," he smirked as he leaned back down to her neck and caressed his lips across her skin softly as he slowly lowered himself down her body with his lips kissing every inch of skin on her chest, kissing his way down her breasts, his fingers moving up to her breasts as he cupped one of her breasts with his hand as stroked her nipple with his thumb. She bit down on her lower lip holding back the moan that was building up in her throat but Sebastian knew exactly what he was doing to her and a smirked appeared on his face as he continued to make his way down her body and kissing his way down her toned stomach, his hands lowering and placed on her thigh as he stroked her leg with his fingertips. For a kid that went to Private school, he sure knew what he was doing and Santana wasn't gonna complain any time soon.

Santana pulled up her bra strap as she sat on the coffee table in the centre of the living room, her hair messed up at the back and the ends of her hair frizzing. Sebastian stood up as he pulled his jeans up his long legs. Her eyes looked up at him as he pulled up his clothes, her eyes gazed down at his rock hard toned stomach with his toned, rock hard pecks, every muscle contracting as he pulled up his jeans, his biceps and triceps too.

"Since when did Sebastian Smythe work out?" She teased and smirked at the same time.

"Are you checking me out, Santana?" He taunted her with a cheeky smirk displayed across his face as checked out her toned body.

"Just like you're checking me out," she smirked cheekily, "Yeah."

"Well," he said changing the subject, "I promise you this, this was a one time thing. It's not gonna happen again."

"Yeah," she nodded with agreement, "This was a one time thing and it's not gonna happen again."

"Yeah," he nodded also as he bent down to grab his shirt off the floor, his jeans hugging his toned ass as he bent down, her eyes locked onto it and she tilted her head with a smirk.

"Or," she smirked and he glanced over his shoulder at her, "We could make it a two time thing?" She shrugged her shoulders. He stared at her as her eyes were locked on his ass as he was still bent over, he glanced down to where she was looking and his eyes returned back to her.

"Are you seriously checking me out right now?" He asked her.

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders with her eyes returning back to his with a smirk on her face, "You got a problem with that?"

"No," he shook his head, "I don't but I do honestly think that this should only be a one time thing."

"Fine," she shrugged her shoulders, "Have it your way." She stood up and walked over to the corner of the room where her dress had been flung across the room, she leaned over and picked up her dress where his eyes shot towards her ass and he too tilted his head to the side as he checked out her ass. She knew that he was checking him out, she smirked to herself and slowly glanced over her shoulder at him. "Checking me out, I see."

"Yeah," he shrugged his shoulders, "If you can check me out then I'm pretty damn sure I'm allowed to check you out." His eyes returned to hers and his eyebrows knitted together to form a frown, "Unless it's one rule for you and another one for me, which would be unfair."

"Well," she replied flirtatiously as she grabbed her dress and stood back up straight, she spun on her heels and kept her eyes on her dress in her hand, "We could make it a two time thing."

"Don't," he smiled, "It's not gonna happen." He shrugged his shirt over his shoulders and buttoned it up, he bent down and grabbed his jumper that was laying underneath his feet. "You're only saying that because you want to take your mind off whatever is making you miserable." He pointed at her, "Which we're gonna talk about by the way."

"Jeez," she sighed with anger, "You're like an elephant, you don't forget anything."

"I know that you're deflecting," he told her, "And I'm not gonna stop asking you what's wrong with you until you tell me what's wrong because like I said, you can take your mind off it occasionally but that doesn't mean that it's gone away, it's still there but it's just been pushed to the back of your head until you have to think again about it." He glanced over at the clock behind her and noticed the time which caused him to sigh and sit down on the sofa as he picked up his converses and started pulling them on, "But I can't do it now," he told her, "I have to go and rehearse for the Regional's tomorrow with the Warblers." She smiled slightly happy with the thought of not having to talk to him about it, and with his head dipped as he tied his converses he knew that she was happy about it. "But that doesn't mean," he said to her which caused her smile to fade, "That we're not gonna talk about it." He looked up after finishing tying up his converses, "We're gonna finish talking about it," he continued, "Because you're gonna tell me what's wrong with you because you need to get it out of your system and I'm here for you to do that." He stood up and walked over to her, her gaze turned away from him and glanced down at the ground. "We had fun today," he told her, "But once I'm gone you're gonna be miserable again because you're gonna be thinking about it, I may have took your mind off it for a short while but it's not a cure to it." He took a step back and walk backwards towards the living room door, "Just remember," he told her, "I'm here to listen." He turned around and made his way out of the living room and out of her house.

As soon as the door slammed shut Santana burst out crying and fell to her knees on the ground, she cupped her face into her hands and cried softly into her hands. She knew that he was right but she didn't want to admit it to him because she would be admitting that she wasn't strong, but when Santana heard a creaking sound coming from outside of the door she lifted her head up quickly and stared at him as he stood in the doorway with soft eyes, her eyes were red and puffy with streaks of tears trickling down her face. He walked towards her and when he reached her, he bend down and reached out to her, his hand gripping her wrist softly. "Now," he whispered to her, "Now will you talk to me?"


	5. Chapter Five

Santana still knelt down on the ground with tears trickling down her face, and Sebastian who was looking at her with soft and concerned eyes was kneeling down in front of her with his fingers wrapped around her wrist gently as his thumb softly grazed across her skin. Santana closed her eyes as she felt more tears building up in her eyes, her head lowered to the ground and with her eyes closed tears still poured down her cheeks. Sebastian shuffled closer to her and angled his head to the side slightly to look at her sad and tearful face, her bottom lip quivering and her fingers slowly trembling.

"I'm here," he whispered to her, "I'm here for you to talk to me."

"No," she shook her head with emotion in her voice, her head still lowered to the ground, "No, I don't want to talk."

"Santana," he sighed, "You waited until you thought that I left so that you could cry. If you think by telling me about what's wrong with you that you're weak then you're just being an idiot."

Her head snapped up quickly, her eyes locked on his with her eyebrows frowning at him. "Did you just call me an idiot?" She scowled at him.

"You know what," he nodded, "Yeah, yeah I did just call you an idiot, because that's what you are, you are an idiot if you think that keeping things locked up inside of you because you want to look tough."

"I am not an idiot," she snarled at him, "How dare you call me an idiot."

"Well," he snarled back, "It was about time that somebody did. You're miserable and you're not admitting to anybody because you think that if you tell somebody that you're miserable that you're weak, well, let me tell you something, Santana Lopez, by not telling anybody about it makes you weak, because the toughest people tell others about how they're feeling. You're not tough, Santana, you're just plain right stubborn."

"You don't understand," she shook her head and wiped away her tears quickly as she pushed herself up from the ground and turned her back to him. He stood up quickly and frowned at her.

"Yeah," he scowled, "And you know why, because you're not telling me. If you told me then I would understand."

"What is it with you?" She snapped as she spun around on the spot to face him, "Why do you want to help me so much? You never wanted to in the past. You were a dick in the past."

"Yeah," he agreed, "I agree with you on that one but people change."

"But why?" She screamed, "Why have you changed so much?"

"People change when bad things happen to them!" He shouted at her.

"Because of Karofsky?" She laughed, "Oh my god, you changed so much because of him. Do you like him or something?"

"No," he shook his head as he took a step towards her, "I changed because that guy almost killed himself because he was being bullied and I was one of the reasons why he wanted to kill himself so yeah, I changed from being an dick to the guy that I am now because I caused a guy to want to commit suicide because I made fun of him." He took another step towards her and pointed in her chest, "And I vowed to myself that I would never hurt anybody again, I would never cause so much pain to somebody that they're willing to take their own lives."

"I'm not gonna take my own life," she told him, "If you think that's what I'm gonna do."

"You say that," he replied, "But how do I know that it's not true?"

"What?" She frowned at him.

"How do I know that it's not true?" He asked her again, "Because you're lying to me right now about being okay when I can clearly see by your face that you're not okay, you're far from it, you won't admit to me that you're miserable so how do I know that once I leave here you're not gonna go up to your room and take your own life?"

"Because that's not who I am," she told him.

"No," he nodded, "You're right, you're not that kind of person, but you are the kind of person who is so proud and stubborn that you won't admit when you're sad and miserable when I can clearly see it right in front of me. I leave your house and you're crying but when I ask you what's wrong, it's like I'm asking you a stupid question when I can see as clear as daylight that you're miserable as sin!"

"It's none of your business," she shouted in his face.

"Oh really?" He asked her.

"Yeah," she nodded and folded her arms across her chest.

"Well," he told her as he took another step towards her, he looked down at her as he towered over her, "I'm making it my business whether you like it or not."

"It has nothing to do with you!" She screamed in his face, "So, get the hell outta my house before I kick your ass outta it."

He shook his head and smiled cynically, "You know what," he told her, "I'm trying here and you're just pushing me away, why are you pushing me away when I want to help you? Stop being proud and stubborn for once in your life, Santana and let me in so that I can help you."

"You can't help me," she told him, "Nobody can help me, only I can help myself."

"You don't know," he shrugged his shoulders, "I could help you. Just by listening is helping."

"No," she shook her head, "You can't help me and I don't want you to help me so if you could leave that would be great."

"Santana," he sighed with disappointment.

"No," she shouted, "I want you to go so get the hell out of my house!"

"Fine," he replied by shaking his head, "Fine, whatever you want but at least I'm trying my best to help you but you remember that it was you who pushed me away because of your stubbornness, not because I didn't notice that you're miserable and hurting." He turned on his heels and slowly walked towards the door before stopping, "But you know what hurts the most?"

"I bet you're gonna tell me anyways," she rolled her eyes.

"None of your friends have actually noticed that you're miserable and they live with you," he told her, he glanced over his shoulder and made eye contact with her, "And you come back into town and I notice straight away, it's kinder sad that nobody has tried to help you." He shrugged his shoulders, "But maybe they knew that you would throw it back in their faces and that's why they haven't even tried to help you because they know how stubborn you are."

"Get out," she shouted with emotion in her voice, "You hear me get out!"

"Fine," he replied sadly, he headed towards the door, he opened it and this time he actually walked out of the door and slammed it behind him. Santana wanted to make sure that he was actually gone this time so she quickly jogged towards the living room door and peered her head around noticing that he was actually gone, exhaling sadly she fell down to the ground on her knees and burst out crying once more, she slapped her hand over her mouth and sobbed into her hand, tears streaming down her cheeks and dropping down onto the ground. She didn't hate the fact that she was stubborn, she hated the fact that somebody actually noticed that about her and that hurt her more than knowing that she was stubborn. She was hurting, hurting more than usual because she knew that there was help for her, somebody to talk to and it had to be the guy that she hated the most back in high school, she knew that he'd changed since the unfortunate occasion involving Karofsky but she was too stubborn to admit it, she was too stubborn to admit that people can change even after she'd slept with them. She knew that she was miserable but actually saying it out loud was going to be the hardest thing that she's ever had to do.

Saturday was finally here and it was the day for the Regional's at McKinley High School. The New Directions were all ready to perform and go on to win the National's again after winning it the year before. They all stood backstage in the choir room, Blaine, Sam, Tina, Artie, Marley, Jake, Ryder, Unique, Kitty and Mr Schuester in a circle in the centre of the room as they prepared to go on stage, being the reigning champions of the National Championships they were to go last as they watched this year's contenders to take their crown, but of course, they weren't going to allow it. However Santana, Rachel and Kurt all sat in the audience as they waited for the show choir to start. Santana stared at the stage as she thought about what Sebastian had said to her last night, she thought about how miserable she was and as she was sitting in the auditorium of the school that gave her the dreams it was hitting her harder than she thought it would. Both Rachel and Kurt were oblivious to her as they chatted and giggled at the old times, about how they remember the regional's, Rachel of course complaining about the fact that even though it was a year ago how she was rudely stopped from performing at the Regional's, even though she did break the rules and it was her fault to begin with, but of course with being Rachel Berry she thought way, way, way outside of the box and saw the good in it and put the blame on somebody else. But even the sound of her voice upset Santana even more, it brought back memories that she didn't want to remember as it would make her feel more miserable within herself about her failure of not reaching her dreams.

She stood up quickly and ran up the steps before leaving the auditorium, both Rachel and Kurt turned their heads quickly as they noticed her rushing off, their eyes both locked with one another at the same time, they both mirrored each other's gestures by shrugging their shoulders at the same time and pouting their bottom lip with confusion. They both stood up quickly and followed her out of the auditorium but when they'd walked out of the auditorium she wasn't anywhere to be seen, she'd disappeared down the hallway of McKinley high, they'd left it too late and they'd lost their friend who clearly was crying for help. The New Directions walked towards the auditorium, both Rachel and Kurt noticed them coming and flashed a good luck smile at them, they turned on their heels and entered the auditorium with their fellow New Directions and Mr Schuester.

Walking down the hallway, Santana had finally arrived in a familiar place, the choir room. She'd noticed that the New Directions had left for their performance, as she walked through the door floods of memories flashed in front of her eyes. All of the good times that they shared in there, the songs that they sung, all of the fall outs, the fights, the arguments, the relationships and of course, all of the friendships. She smiled with her eyes filling up with emotion as she walked over to a chair that she sometimes sat in as she watched all of the performances and all of the times Mr Schuester would come up with lame songs that the rest of the New Directions would make fun of and laugh at him. The thought made her laugh and shake her head, but then tears appeared in her eyes as all of the good times came rushing back to her, her dreams were in this room, but unfortunately for her, they stayed in the room. Her head dropped down to the ground and closed her eyes as her tears streamed down her cheeks.

Santana could hear everything down the quiet hallways of McKinley, she could hear the announcer call out the name of the Dalton Warblers, she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "What are they gonna sing this time?" She muttered under her breath to herself. She wiped away her tears quickly with the back of her hand and when she heard a familiar song, a song that hasn't heard since last year, her head lifted up and her tears soon dried up. She stood up and walked quickly to the auditorium as she heard Sebastian voice singing their song. He was singing 'Smooth Criminal'. She walked through the door at the back of the auditorium and watched him in shock as he sang the song with his fellow Warbler's, her eyes were widened and her mouth had dropped, her eyebrow was raised with confusion but at the same time with happiness because she knew that he'd done it for her, especially when he glanced to the side and noticed her standing in the background, he flashed a smile at her as he sang the song and danced around the stage with his fellow Warbler's. "I can't believe it," she thought, "I seriously can't believe it."


End file.
